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Affirming ME, Diminishing ED. New book and story of recovery! Emily Shares Her Story.
Emily Estes shares her recovery journey and details of her new book: Affirming ME, Diminishing ED:
Lao Tzu spoke words that, for me, explain so much of what has occurred in the process of recovery. It goes like this, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” I realized that in the past ten years of struggling with bulimia, I never allowed myself to be vulnerable to love; I felt unworthy of receiving love and incapable of showing love to others. Recovery, in the end, was not about following a meal plan to perfection or never engaging in behaviors; rather, recovery got down to the simple fact that I felt hopeless, insecure, unworthy, and a whole host of varying negativity. It was when I turned to the words of Mildred McAfee, “If you have great ambition, take as big as step as possible in the direction of fulfilling it. The step may only be a tiny one, but trust that it may be the largest one possible for now,” that I truly began the journey to recovery. With my greatest ambition being a life of recovery, I set out on a journey that took me forward and backward many times. A few magazines and a spare notebook opened my eyes to a world I’d not seen in a long time by providing me the strength to see beyond the negative, the ability to embrace the positive, and ultimately realize that this journey is neither flawless nor effortless. It was through this process that I put together a binder full of pages, ultimately leading to my recent publication of Affirming ME, diminishing ed, an affirmation book holding the message of hope I saw as I brought page after page together. No page bears perfection. No message holds the simple answer we search for again and again. It was the process of bringing these pages together though that allowed me to let go of the desire for perfection and instead, seek freedom! A freedom that allowed me to discover the courage that was deep within!
Recovery is not a destination. It is a process full of ups and downs. For me, it was about not only allowing myself to be loved by others, but also being vulnerable to loving others in return. This life, I learned, is about more than food, expectations, and quite bluntly… me. Life offers us an opportunity to love others, to make a difference in the lives we come in contact with. I want my legacy to be more than a girl with an eating disorder who’s isolated, hopeless, and full of shame. NO! I want a legacy that will show who I am beyond ed and an outside image of what others assume. I will choose to allow happiness and love into my life; to fill the depths of my soul! I will be the individual God has chosen me to be and travel the road He has chosen!
About Affirming Me, Diminishing ED, Emily’s new book: Through the use of collage and inspiration, Emily has brought together a message of hope to those struggling with eating disorders and a life of addiction. She seeks to share the message that recovery IS possible! Emily welcomes you to join her in affirming YOU and diminishing ed! To learn more, visit www.affirmingmediminishinged.weebly.com
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